the c word: confidence
After every class so many of my students come up to me and thank me. It’s my favorite part of teaching - getting to connect with people. Many of them also ask me questions. Typically it’s along the lines of how they can improve or if I have any tips. There is one question, however, that is asked in every single class by at least one person: “How do you build confidence?”
Now this is much easier said than done. However, it can be done. By anybody.
When someone asks me this question I say almost the same thing every time. And it’s very simple. In my opinion, confidence is not something built when everything is going amazingly for you. True confidence is built at the times when you push through. Even when you are far from your best. For example: When I’m in my “teacher mode” it’s way easier for me to move with an air of authority and poise. When I’m teaching a full class I usually have on a flattering outfit, my makeup is done, and I’m riding on a high of endorphins being surrounded by my students who have just validated my talent by showering me with compliments. The people that take my classes are literally so nice and supportive, it’s impossible not to feel on top of the world when so many people are lifting you up at once. In that moment, when someone asks me about confidence, it is insanely easy to say “yes, I am a confident person.”
But what about the days I feel like crap? What about all the other days of the week when I don’t have my students around to be my personal cheerleaders? Well, quite frankly, those days suck. Which leads me to my first tip on building confidence:
1. Don’t rely on others to fill up your tank
Getting compliments from others feels great. We love when our friends gas us up and we love to return the favor. However, if you are solely relying on others to lift you up so that you can have some pep in your step, you will soon trip and tumble once they aren’t around. Waiting until someone validates you to feel secure about something is the same thing as trying to run with a pair of crutches. Sure you’re moving along and you probably feel good about the support underneath your arms. But if you really look at it, those crutches are really just in the way of you putting your own feet to the pavement and sprinting off full throttle.
Wether it’s coming from a love interest, a friend, or a coworker
2. Be Consistent. Even when you don’t feel like it.
As a dancer and performer, I often exude an air of confidence when I am in front of an audience. When the music starts and my cue comes up, something switches inside of me. Whatever doubts I may have had are pushed aside and I step up to the task at hand. I do it so often that I don’t always think that I am doing anything extraordinary. I’m just dancing,
However, when I stop to think about it, the act of doing something with confidence regardless of knowledge or ability is truly extraordinary. Taking up space and saying “this is me. I am here” is a powerful thing.